Everything was normal again. My nose was fine, Mamo-chan was bubbly again and I was as spacey as ever. I never saw the ‘wall’ again since he dropped me off at home that evening. It’s been a couple of weeks since then. I wonder what his name is. I always laugh inwardly every time I think about how a wall could remind me of him and how I never got to know his name.
Everything was normal again. At least as far as normal was to me. So I still couldn’t feel cold. Even during those few weeks of weirdness. I was still wondering about that day during the fire. It was… unimaginably insane but at the same time it really made me curious, which made me even more spacey than usual.
I just can’t stop thinking about it. I really can’t. And every time I get too intense from thinking about it too much I notice Mamo-chan staring at me too. I sometimes catch her looking at me weirdly. And her thought process is actually visible for everyone to see. Maybe she’s just like me. Unable to let go of the topic. How could anyone let it go? Something as irrational as that. Luckily, I, Mamo-chan, that family and the fire department were the only ones who witnessed the incident. And I doubt that any of them would say anything. No one would believe them if they did.
Even when I told the Kais about my situation, Mamo-chan didn’t believe me. She probably thought her new sister was crazy. I believe anyone would. Then later, she sort of just ignored it as it wasn’t such a bother. But mom and dad were totally cool about it. Not even the slightest glimmer of curiosity, shock, or maybe even disgust. Nothing. Which was both a relief and a mystery.
I can’t help but wonder if what happened that day was a one time thing, or if it would happen again. Thinking about the latter made me shudder. But still, at least it was an explanation as opposed to the former which would’ve just left me hanging and wondering if not being able to feel cold was just a mistake that God made and I should just accept it and get over it.
But God doesn’t make mistakes. Everything God does has its reason, purpose, ulterior intention. So there has to be a reason why that happened to me that day. A reason why I can’t feel cold. There must be a link somewhere between those two. Could I actually intentionally combust? I mean could I, like, create fire out of nowhere just by my will?
“Ms Kai. Ms Kai? Ms Kai!” I heard my name being called from the front of the class. Ooh… Mrs Patterson looks mad.
“Yes?” I answered then simultaneously and accidentally dropped my textbook to the floor as my elbow went over the edge of my desk. Snickers immediately sounded throughout the whole class.
“I would appreciate it if you would pay attention in my class? Your exams will be coming up in a few days and what I’m teaching right now will be questioned. So please! Pay attention or I will have to give you detention.” she threatened.
“I’m sorry.” and I blushed as I apologized. I bent down to pick up my book and as soon as I touched it the pages started to char. “No way…” I whispered in shock. I continued to pick up the book despite the fact that it was disintegrating right there in my hands. And realizing that the other students were still staring at me I started to blush even more.
Suddenly, everyone started getting anxious. “When did it get so hot in here?” someone said. “Holy bananas it’s like a microwave in here.” another said. “Wait, is summer taking the place of autumn now?” the other one joked. What are they talking about? I don’t sense any difference in temperature at all.
“Oh my god!! Her book is on fire…!! The book in her hand is burning!!” came a sudden squeal from behind me. Uh-oh. Oh no. Crap. Oh crap. They saw it. They saw me. They saw. I got to get out of here. Fast. But, where do I go? Aargh!! I don’t have time to think about this.
I ran out of the class and started to head to the bathroom. “Ms Kai!! Ms Kai!! Wait..! Where do you think you’re going?!” Mrs Patterson started to call out. I kept running and looked back to see if she was following me. She was and so I ran faster and faster until, when I finally realized that she was no longer chasing after me and that I was completely out of anyone’s sight I was already at the back of the school. Near the dumpsters.
I’ve never been to the back of the school. There was never a reason to. But there was a small shed or storage room building separate from the school building standing isolate near those dumpsters. I walked up to it holding my breath expecting a whiff of supremely nasty odors but when I breathed in I was pleasantly surprised that it smelled fresh and clean. No odors whatsoever.
“Janitor.” I read out loud the sign that was on the door. I turned the knob of the door hoping that it was unlocked so I can hide inside until school finished. But predictably, considering my string of misfortunes today, it was indeed locked. So I sat down on the considerably clean floor, rested my back to the door of the janitor’s room, held my head in my hand and sighed a heavy sigh.
******************************
“Yummy!! Man, nothing says happiness like a bowl of instant ramen.” I said to myself out loud while I was walking back to my building at the back of the school. Finally those kids are going back home and my job for the day is done.
Never a dull day with these kids. Today, I actually had to polish a whole corridor because some kid messed it up. Never mind mess it up, the floor looked like it was burnt. And the burn marks were actually in the shape of footsteps. Talk about whacky. The teachers didn’t tell me anything except to clean it up. So I just did my job. But I was pretty sure those burn marks were footsteps. But maybe it’s just my imagination. Exhaustion can do strange things to the human mind. Especially when said human was running on an empty stomach.
Okay, so juggling all this food in one hand with a newspaper and three magazines tucked under the other arm was clearly a bad idea, since now I had to fumble for my keys in my pocket. It wasn’t until I got right in front of the storage room that I noticed that a student was blocking my path. That was new. No one has ever been back here, not even a student that was trying to skip class. I expected as much since it was an elite school for the brilliantly rich, clever and talented.
Not that a janitor like me would care. I dropped out of high school at 16 and now at the age of only 26, I’m stuck as a janitor. Serves me right. Right? But truthfully, I like it here. I like what I’ve become. I mean, it’s not something to be proud of but I’m absolutely content with where I am and what I have right now. What can I say? I appreciate and enjoy the smaller things in life.
Like this store room back here that I call my home. It’s why I liked it so much. A place all to myself away from everyone else. No one bothers me after school hours and I get my own place? What more should I ask for? No rents to pay, no bills, just food for myself. The school doesn’t mind as long as I’m doing my job properly. And so far the school has been so shiny they can see they’re reflection on just about every surface there is. And I do all the work myself, in this huge school. I’m awesome! The least they could do is give me my own place.
But why is this kid here? I was so busy polishing the floors the whole day I never came back to my room during lunch just to finish the whole corridor. Which explains why I’m so hungry right now. And she’s so comfortably sitting there. Doesn’t she notice me here?
“Err, hey. Could you move so I can go in and eat? School’s done for today so you can go home now. I won’t tell anyone you skipped so, move. Okay?” I even cleared my throat as irritatingly as I could. No response. Hmmmm… I squatted down careful not to drop the load I was carrying to see if she’s dead – scratch that – unconscious or something. Since she tucked her head in her hands I still couldn’t confirm her current status. So I put down all my stuff on the floor and poked her shoulder.
“Hey kid.” I poked again. “Umm, could you please - ….” Then I was cut off by a loud, “Oi!!! What’re you doing to her?” I got up and turned around to find that it was another student. He quickly ran towards me and pinned me to the wall. “What’re you trying to do, huh?” his eyes filled with aggression. Ooohh… I don’t wanna mess with this one.
“Eh? I wasn’t trying to do anything to her. What I was trying was to get into my place here but she was blocking my way, so….” I told him with a silly grin on my face. Geez… This kid’s really not messing around is he? “Oh, I’m sorry, man. I-I thought you were gonna – ” Now it’s my turn to cut him off, “Never mind that. Could you maybe let me go now? I’d really like to have my meal. Thanks.” He really looked like he was about to take me on. Sheesh… Never a dull day. He let me go and even dusted off my shoulders. He smiled at me sheepishly. “Thanks.” I said.
“Sorry man.” he said to me again. “ It’s OK. Just get her out of the way, alright?” I said while picking up my stuff on the floor. When I turned around he was already walking away carrying the girl, who was probably sleeping, in his arms. Never a dull day.
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How I ended up awaking at a park bench across from my apartment at night with my head on someone’s shoulders? I don’t know. All I know was that I was late for dinner and mom was gonna kill me. Damn. The string of misfortune just hasn’t snapped yet.
“Ah… I see we’re awake now.” a familiar voice whose name I have yet to find out said to me.
“Unh… My butt hurts…” then I heard him laugh.
“That’s cuz you fell asleep sitting on cold hard concrete. Why were you there anyway? I thought after what happened you ran home.” he told me.
Despite still being sleepy and cloudy, I heard what he said loud and clear. “Y-You saw what happened?”
He smiled and said, “It’s kinda impossible not to notice. You were walking around glowing like a splinter on fire.”
“I-I was….?” I said now sitting up straight and looking right at him. “Oh no!! W-Wait, I… I can’t go to school now. They’ll think… they’ll think… that… I’m – ” then he took my hand and held it within his own squeezing tight.
“You’ll be fine.” He said, squeezing my hand tighter.
“Huh? Hey, oww, you’re squeezing too tight.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“What do you mean by that anyway? I’ll be fine?! Now they’re really gonna think I’m a freak. Not that I care what other people thought of me. But – ”
“But what? You said it yourself. You don’t care what other people think of you. So why should it matter that they saw what happened?!”
“Why?!” I yelled and got up from the bench.
“Why what?” he asked with his voice lowered back to talking tone.
“Why?!!”
“What? Why what??” he asked again.
“Why me?!!” and with that said I turned and started walking to the center of the park.
“H-Hey, where’re you going? It’s dark out already.”
“Why don’t you just leave me alone?”
“Uhh… I can’t do that…”
“Go away!!”
“Hey, wait just a minute!” and then I heard him running towards me.
But I was so angry I just snapped. I turned around before he even got to me and jumped him. He fell to the ground and I pinned him there.
“Why won’t you leave me alone?!!! Why are you always around me? Who are you anyway? Can’t you find someone else to bother?! Roaarrr!!”
“I… ack… It’s my job.” And he coughed and struggled to breathe.
“Your job?!!! What kind of stupid cover up is that??!! Can’t you at least tell me a better lie than that?” I screamed at him and choked him a little.
And then suddenly he was really quiet.
“Oww..!! Hot!! You’re burning me!! Aaahhh!!!” and when he screamed again I quickly got up from him.
Then I saw that his neck where I choked him was really red. Oh shit…!! It’s happening again. My hands were now all tingly and when I looked down at them, they were glowing. Then my hands started feeling really light and it started glowing brighter and brighter and soon after that they burst up in flames!!
“Amber!!!” he called out. But I was too stunned to even acknowledge anything that was happening around me.
“Amber!! You’ve gotta relax. Calm down and breathe. Or your whole body will light up and most probably burn out this whole park right here.”
Calm down?
Relax?
Surely I wouldn’t want to burn this place up, but… Waaarggh!! Easy for him to say! His hands are not blazing for goodness sake!! How could I possibly or even remotely –
“You’ve got to cool down, Amber!!”
“Alright, alright!!” and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Telling myself to keep cool. Thinking about the times I sat by myself all alone just looking up at the skies and the way it made me so calm. Thinking of the times I looked at the raindrops that fell in my palms wondering how they really felt instead of just being wet. Thinking of how much better the wind could feel if I felt its coolness.
My world finally changed that day. But not in the way that I always imagined it would change into. Never in this way. How this change ever came to be considering it was the complete opposite of how my soul always was, I would never find out. At least I can’t imagine that someone would just pop up and tell me why all this fire despite my icy nature. No. Nothing was ever that simple.
A soft touch to my hand was all it took to snap me out of my trance state. It was him. Holding my hand, reassuringly, telling me he was, unbelievably, unafraid of what he saw just moments before. Undisturbed by what I did to his neck. Unconvinced by the to-hell-with-all-of-you exterior that I usually put up.
“You did it. You were cold. And that was what extinguished your flames.”
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~owari~
Author’s note: actually, I don’t really have anything to say about this one, except, enjoy… and for those who think this storyline is getting too predictable… think again. Just you wait. You’ll eat up your words when I’m done. Hohoh…
Ja!!
-katsu-
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